Master Of Slytherin House
by Sevi Snape
Summary: Rated for language. Parody to Master of the House from les miz hope you like it.


A parody to 'Master of the House' from the musical 'Les Miserable' hope you enjoy let me know what you think.

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**Master of Slytherin House**

**Harry**

Snape's an old pest  
  
**Ron**  
Bound to give you a test   
  
**Hermione  
**We've got him first thing today  
  
**Snape **  
Sad little lot  
The potions gone to pot  
So I'll throw it down the sink  
Add a  glass a rum  
Rum I said not beer!  
  
**Harry**  
Right away, you scum (to himself)  
Right away, m'sieur (to customer)  
  
**Ron**  
I wish Snape would go to hell  
  
**Hermione**  
So you tell me every year  
  
**Draco**  
Good ol' professor Snape  
Dressed in a black cape,  
Bin that way since '82   
  
**Crabbe**  
Dark mark, its true  
Bin through a thing or two   
  
**Pansy**  
But he knew just what to do  
  


**Draco**

Came back to Dumbledore  
So I've heard it said  
Teaching at Hogwarts   
(But wishes he were dead)  
  
**Hermione**

He made a tidy score  
In the midst of war  
  
**Snape**  
These kids are soaks  
These kids are dissolute's  
Hear dirty jokes, from my house of Slytherin.  
They're sons of whores  
Spent their lives in Hogwarts  
Homing pigeons homing in  
They fly through its doors  
And their minds will soon be raw  
  
**Neville**  
Ain't got a clue  
What I'm supposed to stew  
Must have forgotten something else  
  
**Hermione **  
Hear Draco whine   
God I hate that little swine   
Must have bribed professor Snape   
  
**Sybil Trelawny**  
Severus over here!  
Where's the bloody man?  
Just give me one kiss!  
One more little kiss

  
**Neville**  
No more work! Or it will do me in!  
  
  
**Snape**  
I'm Severus Snape  
I teach potions  
And I'm the best  
Brewer in town.  
As for the class  
All of 'em flunk  
All bold as brass   
And their work is junk.  
Seldom do you see  
Honest men like me  
A gent of good intent  
Who's content to be  
  
Master of Potions  
Doling out detention  
Ready with a comment   
And my past, don't mention  
Tells you to shut up  
Give that a little stir  
They all that I am a vampire   
Glad to do Albus a favor  
Doesn't cost me to be nice  
But that's not gonna happen   
Now add those little entrails of mice!  
  
Master of Potions  
Keeper of the zoo  
Ready to give 'em  
A punishment or two  
Water out that fire  
Double check the weight  
Pick up those loose pine needles   
Or you won't see straight  
Everybody hates my teaching  
Everybody's hating me  
Won't do whatever pleases  
Jesus! Won't I fail you in the end!  
  
**Class**  
Master of Potions  
Quick to catch yer tricks  
Never wants a student  
To pass easy  
Servant to Voldemort  
Butler to Albus  
Vulture and teacher,  
That we all hate!  
Everybody's worst nightmare  
Everybody's chaperone  
**  
Draco**  
But don't think he's that bad  
Cos he won't throw Gryffindor a bone!  
  
  
**Snape (sarcastic)**  
Enter M'sieur  
Lay down your load  
Unlace your boots  
And rest from the road  
  


**Snape (normal)**  
Tens minutes late  
I've just the curse  
Cos here I strive  
For reactions adverse   
See that potions cooked!  
See the roots are tied  
And nothing's overlooked  
Till I'm satisfied...  
  
Torture beyond compare  
Torture beyond belief  
Mix it in the mortar  
You'll beg for relief   
Kidney of a horse  
Liver of a cat  
Filling up the cauldrons

With this and that  
  
Don't think that I won't see that   
I'll test the potion on you  
Reasonable attempts  
From all those in my house Slytherin!  
  
Come on add the lice  
Extra bits of mice  
Two more minutes till you stir it twice  
Add a little slice  
Give this a little cut  
Three percent for not keeping the lid shut  
  


**Class**

When it comes to fixing grades  
There are a lot of tricks he knows  
How it all decreases  
All in bits and pieces  
Jesus! It's amazing how we groan!  
  
**Class**  
Master of Potions  
Quick to catch yer tricks  
Never wants a student  
To pass easy  
Servant to Voldemort  
Butler to Albus  
Vulture and teacher,  
That we all hate!  
Everybody's worst nightmare  
Everybody's chaperone  
  
**Draco**  
But don't think he's that bad  
Cos he won't throw Gryffindor a bone!  
  
**Hermione**  
I used to dream  
That I would meet a prince  
But God Almighty,  
Have you seen what authors write?  
`Master of Potions?'  
-stupid little git!  
`Vulture and teacher'  
- and lifelong shit!  
Cunning little brain  
Regular wanker  
They write him as a great lover   
But there's not much there  
What a cruel trick of fiction  
Landing me with such a louse  
God knows how I've lasted  
Sleeping with head of Slytherin house!  
  
  
**Snape and Class**  
Master of Potions.  
  
**Hermione **  
Master and a twat!  
  
**Snape**  
Comforter, philosopher  
  
**Hermione **  
Ah, don't give me that!  
  
**Class**

Servant to Voldemort  
Butler to Albus.  
  
**Hermione**  
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!  
  
**Snape and Class**  
Everybody's worst nightmare  
Everybody's chaperone  
**  
Snape**

Everybody fill a glass  
  
**Hermione**  
Shove it up Professor Snape's arse.  
  
**Snape**

Everybody fill a glass or you'll lose points from your house! 


End file.
